What to Wear to a KinkyMinky.Club Event: Our Dress Code, Explained

Our dress code depends on the event, but every one of them starts from the same place: Cocktail Minimum, with black as the baseline. Cocktail Minimum means smart, not casual: a dressy shirt with trousers, or a dressy dress, for anyone. T-shirts, polo tees and jeans don't count.

If you're reading this because you're wondering what to wear to your first event, here is exactly what that means, why we have it, and what to do if you're unsure.

Does the dress code change by event?

Yes. Cocktail Minimum is the starting point for our socials and parties. What's added on top of it depends on the series:

• The Kinky series and the Her Lead series (which includes The Black Party): Cocktail Minimum, and fetish wear, such as leather or latex, is welcome.

• The Arrangement series: Cocktail Minimum only. Dressy and smart, with no fetish wear.

• Private events: some have a themed dress code. Your invitation will tell you what it is.

• Workshops: no dress code. Wear what suits the session.

If you're not sure which applies, the event page always states the dress code at the top.

What does “Cocktail Minimum” mean?

Cocktail Minimum means smart, not casual. A dressy shirt with trousers is enough for anyone, and a dress works as long as it's dressy.

• For everyone: a dressy shirt with trousers. A collared button-up works, and so does a mandarin collar or something similar. T-shirts and polo tees don't count, even with a collar. Jeans don't either.

• Dresses: welcome, if they're dressy (see below).

• Black is the baseline. If you're unsure, go darker and dressier.

This is the same for women: a dressy shirt with trousers is just as welcome as a dress.

The word “minimum” matters. You don't need a suit, a tie or an evening gown. You do need to look as though you made an effort.

What about dresses?

Dresses are welcome, as long as they're dressy. A simple test: would you wear it to a cocktail party or a nice dinner? If so, it works. If you'd wear it to the market, the beach or a weekend errand, it doesn't.

• Works: satin, silk, crepe, velvet or lace, and tailored, fitted or draped cuts. Anything that reads evening.

• Doesn't: casual cotton dresses, sundresses, T-shirt dresses, and beach or day dresses.

Dressy doesn't have to mean expensive. Cut and fabric matter more than price, and a simple black dress is plenty.

What can't I wear?

T-shirts, polo tees and jeans are out, along with casual wear, gym wear and slippers. Casual cotton dresses and everyday shorts are out too.

Can I wear shorts?

Everyday shorts are out at every event, and at The Arrangement shorts aren't accepted at all. At the Kinky series and the Her Lead series (including The Black Party), shorts are accepted in leather or latex. They belong to fetish wear, a long-standing part of alternative-scene dress, and they read as dressed on purpose.

Why is black the baseline?

Darkness is the dress code. A room of people dressed with the same intention feels different from a room of people dressed for different occasions. Black takes away the question of what everyone else will be wearing, and it lets people relax into the evening. Dress to add to the atmosphere of the room, not take away from it.

Why do you enforce it?

Because it's part of how the room works. Dressing for the evening shows that you've arrived with presence, and that you respect the event and the people in it. The dress code is one of three non-negotiables at every event, alongside no photos or videos and no unsolicited contact.

It's enforced for everyone, regulars included. If you arrive out of code, you'll be turned away at the door, with no refund.

Is it about looking a certain way?

No. It isn't about your body, your age or what you own. It's about arriving with intention. You don't need to buy anything new: a dressy shirt and trousers you already have will do. Wear something that fits well and that you feel confident in.

What if I'm not sure?

Ask us on Instagram @kinkyminky.club first, and tell us what you're thinking of wearing. It's far easier to check beforehand than to find out at the door.

Still wondering what the room feels like? Find me at the next Kinky Bar Social.

Packing for your first event? Here's what to wear and what to bring.

Related reading: Getting the Invitation · What Is a Cougar?

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the dress code at KinkyMinky.Club events?

Every social and party starts with Cocktail Minimum, with black as the baseline: smart, not casual. What's added on top depends on the series. Workshops have no dress code.

What does Cocktail Minimum mean?

Smart, not casual. A dressy shirt with trousers is enough for anyone, and a dress works if it's dressy. You don't need a suit, a tie or an evening gown.

Can I wear a T-shirt or a polo?

No. T-shirts and polo tees don't count, even with a collar. A collared button-up or a mandarin-collar shirt does.

Can I wear jeans?

No. Jeans, T-shirts and polo tees don't count at socials and parties.

Can women wear trousers instead of a dress?

Yes. The rule is the same for women: a dressy shirt with trousers is just as welcome as a dress.

What kind of dress is allowed?

A dressy one. If you'd wear it to a cocktail party or a nice dinner, it works. Casual cotton dresses, sundresses and T-shirt dresses don't.

Can I wear shorts?

Everyday shorts are out at every event, and The Arrangement accepts no shorts at all. At the Kinky series and the Her Lead series, shorts are accepted in leather or latex.

Does the dress code change by event?

Yes. Cocktail Minimum is the starting point. The Kinky series and the Her Lead series (including The Black Party) also welcome fetish wear. The Arrangement series is Cocktail Minimum only. Some private events have a theme, stated in the invitation.

Is there a dress code for workshops?

No. Workshops have no dress code. Wear what suits the session.

Does it have to be black?

Black is the baseline, not a strict rule. If you're unsure, go darker and dressier.

What if I'm not sure what to wear?

Ask us on Instagram @kinkyminky.club first and describe your outfit.

What happens if I arrive out of code?

The dress code is enforced for everyone, regulars included. If you arrive out of code, you'll be turned away at the door, with no refund.